Jesse Kessenheimer

United States

Editor at Cheezburger

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Articles

26 Bubbly Cat Memes to Fill Up Your Cup With Fizzles and Cheer

3 days ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Three cheers for cats!—the most illustrious and adorable creatures on the planet. Floofy, sweet, and sometimes spicy, cats light up our lives like a laser pointer, dashing around the living room walls with the utmost fervor. As cat lovers, it's our duty to uphold these feline traditions of vomming on the carpet, scuttling underfoot during breakfast hour, and taking up all the space on the bed despite only being 8 lbs.
'Luckiest little soot ball this side of the Mississippi': Mother-daughter duo block traffic with their van to save a kitten trapped on the highway, then the kitten hides in their undercarriage, so they coax her out of hiding with a can of tuna

1 week ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Kittens always seem to find new and meowraculous ways to survive in this world. Smol, impetuous, and the spiciest little guys out there, it seems like kittens are more determined to survive than they are good at being survivalists. Alas, occasionally a little floofy feline needs our help! This mother-daughter duo went the extra mile to save this little kitten they spotted in the road, risking life, limb, and vehicle to pawtect this spicy soot ball.
22 Star Wars Cat Memes for Intergalactic Cat Lovers Spending May 4th With Their Meowndalorian

1 week ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Cat… I am your father. Every Star Wars-loving cat pawrent has tried to convince their feline that they come from a long bloodline of Jedi knights, but for some reason, our lazy kitties just want to lull about in the sunshine of the windowsill instead of fulfilling their destiny to defy the Empire. Alas, despite my cat's obvious Jedi reflexes and keen ability to control my thoughts ('these are the cat treats you're looking for'), he still won't pick up a lightsaber.
Down-and-out cat-lover finds their soul cat in a cuddly feral feline, then they risk it all to save them despite a rocky living situation: ‘Little buddy has unlocked a whole extra tier of motivation’

2 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Life throws all kinds of curveballs at us, but it seems like whenever it rains, it pours. There's never just one problem going on in your life, and instead of a single manageable issue, you're drowning in unemployment, a bad roommate sitch, and a 'Check Engine' light that never seems to turn off. Like the cat-lover in this story, sometimes when life is getting us down, all we need is a cuddle session with a cat to get our priorities straight.
'They tried the wrong kid': Entitled customers try to schmooze their way into a discount by claiming they 'know the owner,' they don't realize they're talking to the owner's daughter

2 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Money-grubbing customers are the worst, but this street-smart kid knew exactly how to handle their entitlement: Shame. There are clout-chasers in every city, but they all play the same game. Pretending to know people out of their social structure somehow deems them more worthy of the attention of others, so in a desperate attempt to climb the social ladder or receive some other popularity benefit, these types of people schmooze and sip their way into socialite status.
Gym-Goer Finds a Mama Cat Nursing 3 Smol Kittens in the Gym Parking Lot, She Adopts the Sweet Mom and Fosters the Feisty Kittens Until They're Old Enough for the Shelter

2 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

There are kittens everywhere. Because of their curiosity, hoomans find felines in the unlikeliest of places, since cats scale trees, climb into pipes, and cause general mischief with their dexterous ways. Cats can weasel themselves into any purrcarious situation if they're meowtivated enough, but the one place we never expect to find a cat is out in the open, curled up like a sad, sassy cinnamon roll in a gym parking lot.
UPDATE: Hooman instantly bonds with a loving cat they find in the street, then, after finding ‘Lost Pet’ signs in their neighborhood, reluctantly return him to the original owner: ‘A happy ending to the story!’

3 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

The bond between a hooman and their favorite cat will never break, even if that kitty is not actually yours. Finding a stray on the street is always a heartbreaking experience for a cat lover. Desperately skinny, meowing for help, and likely covered in indignant clouds of dirt, outdoor cats cling to the nearest hooman servant, hoping for a cuddle, a pet, or even a tin of tuna to aid their kitty quest.
Avast Ye Swashbuckling Cat Lovers!-for 25 Meowty Cat Purrates Are Here to Pillage Your Meme Ship

3 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Ahoy, my fellow cat-loving scallawags! Today, ye walk the plank of life—but not before a quick chuckle at some cat memes. When the Seven Seas are angry and the siren's song goes quiet, the wind is taken out of our sails, and it seems that all is lost in the doldrums. But what ye don't realize is that these waters be inhabited by the likes of swashbuckling purrates—cat pirates—ready to pillage the likes of any King's ship that passes through the Carribbean.
Notorious Stud Cat Captured, Curbing the Local Stray Kitten Population While Turning His Love and Affection Towards His Foster Hoomans Instead

3 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Like rabbits, stray cats are kitten factories, determined to quadruple the feline colony's population at all costs! But this local stud was on to bigger and better things, hoping to secure a new future with more canned food and less flying fur. Keep scrolling for the chuckle-worthy tale of a local legend turned more notorious after capture than 007 himself.
‘I gave them 24 hours': Senior programmer gets demoted for ‘performance issues’ after a health crisis, so he diverts all his managerial duties to his boss, ends up demanding a 10% raise and a 4-day workweek after they beg him to come back

4 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | Jesse Kessenheimer

Nothing feels better than being the most irreplaceable employee in the workplace. Like an unbeatable demigod, your job is secure, and nobody can challenge that. With this power, you can leverage raises, better hours, PTO whenever you want, and benefits that far exceed the new hires. Usually, this type of job security is earned through hard work and cleverness, so once a worker reaches that level, they can take a bit of a breather (finally).

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Jesse Kessenheimer

Articles

26 Bubbly Cat Memes to Fill Up Your Cup With Fizzles and Cheer

'Luckiest little soot ball this side of the Mississippi': Mother-daughter duo block traffic with their van to save a kitten trapped on the highway, then the kitten hides in their undercarriage, so they coax her out of hiding with a can of tuna

22 Star Wars Cat Memes for Intergalactic Cat Lovers Spending May 4th With Their Meowndalorian

Down-and-out cat-lover finds their soul cat in a cuddly feral feline, then they risk it all to save them despite a rocky living situation: ‘Little buddy has unlocked a whole extra tier of motivation’

'They tried the wrong kid': Entitled customers try to schmooze their way into a discount by claiming they 'know the owner,' they don't realize they're talking to the owner's daughter

Gym-Goer Finds a Mama Cat Nursing 3 Smol Kittens in the Gym Parking Lot, She Adopts the Sweet Mom and Fosters the Feisty Kittens Until They're Old Enough for the Shelter

UPDATE: Hooman instantly bonds with a loving cat they find in the street, then, after finding ‘Lost Pet’ signs in their neighborhood, reluctantly return him to the original owner: ‘A happy ending to the story!’

Avast Ye Swashbuckling Cat Lovers!-for 25 Meowty Cat Purrates Are Here to Pillage Your Meme Ship

Notorious Stud Cat Captured, Curbing the Local Stray Kitten Population While Turning His Love and Affection Towards His Foster Hoomans Instead

‘I gave them 24 hours': Senior programmer gets demoted for ‘performance issues’ after a health crisis, so he diverts all his managerial duties to his boss, ends up demanding a 10% raise and a 4-day workweek after they beg him to come back

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