Josh Gardner

2 months ago | thedailymash.co.uk | Josh Gardner

20th March 2025 FIFTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, goes hardcore roadman after being ridiculed by someone who has met the real thing. FAM! Early dis week a bruv bangs hinto Active J on him’s way to da hastroturf at break wiv mandem crew, an’ starts dissin’ man habout bein’ a fake roadman. You wot, bruv? Active J sed him ‘ad better hexplain wastemanself hyper-quick, or we is in a deep beef ting, innit.

2 months ago | thedailymash.co.uk | Josh Gardner

17th March 2025 By Josh Gardner, who hopes the trenches have wi-fiA DARK cloud is rolling across Europe. We may not see it lit af again in our lifetimes. And I’m told it’s not long before my country will need me, a listless member of the socials generation welded to his phone skilled at delivering murderously funny memes, to fight Russia. I’m surprisingly okay at being packed off to Ukraine with a rifle. It’s a while since my last citybreak and season two of Severance isn’t gripping me.

Feb 22, 2025 | thedailymash.co.uk | Josh Gardner

22nd February 2025 Aries, March 21st–April 19thHard to imagine now, but in 1957 Peggy-Sue was the sexiest name. Just a seductive tempting slutty whore of a name. Taurus, April 20th–May 20thThe police caught the killer after they gathered the townspeople and said he was prone to overreact at the slightest provocation and had stupid hair. Gemini, May 21st–June 21stLibido, or libidon’t. There is no try.

Feb 17, 2025 | thedailymash.co.uk | Josh Gardner

17th February 2025 By Josh Gardner, who’s got MAGA FOMOLEFT-wing social justice politics is so Biden. Edgelord is the new woke. Right-wing extremism is blowing up in Europe and America. I had to get involved. For noobs, it used to be what cheugy boomers fought against in a war that was apparently the best one for offering the troops real moral choices. But now it’s back like mullets and boot-cuts and it’s great-grandad’s turn to be on the wrong side of history.

Jan 23, 2025 | thedailymash.co.uk | Josh Gardner

23rd January 2025 FIFTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, learns to live without his gyal due to his cinema antics. ACTIVE J ‘as da January blues. Coz man ‘as been bare dumped. Lady G is no longer peng gyaldem. Her went off da scale at Active J in da cinema, for no reason at all, innit. Mandem crew woz watchin’ a film habout a old-school vampire, which woz rank an’ not for Active J, fam. So man put him’s hairpods in an’ watched youtoob videos, innit.