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3 weeks ago | 
pointsincase.com | Just Lunning |Amanda Goble |Mary Heitkamp |Lillie Franks
February the 19th, in the Year of Our Lord 1387Today I turned 29, and I must confess I'm experiencing what Father Theobald calls a “crisis of middle life.” Mathematically speaking, my life is well more than halfway over, and what do I have to show for it? I have spent my entire life in the village of Wessex. I plow the fields, I pay my tithes, I try to sire additional children (may God rest the souls of the first six), and for what? To grow old drinking weak ale and dying of rickets? No. I refuse.
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1 month ago | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
“I endeavor to apply in all things my principles of observation and deduction. Any puzzle may be solved by one who is patient enough to gather the relevant facts and rigorous in the conclusions he draws from them. It’s a bit of a Chicago thing, actually; you’d probably get it if you were from Chicago.”“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from America.”“Not just America, actually. I’m from Chicago.”“Holmes, how could you possibly not know the Copernican theory?
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2 months ago | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
Hey, so I know we haven’t talked since high school but I was just scrolling on Facebook, enjoying the single sliver of light that reaches my underground abode, and I noticed the great news you posted! Getting married! Wow! That’s so exciting! It really warms my heart to hear that kind of thing, even though I’m currently a sewer monster living under the streets of Chicago!So tell me everything! Where’d you meet him? Is he someone I know?
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Dec 9, 2024 | 
pointsincase.com | Augusta Chapman |Tod Brubaker |Lillie Franks |Youmna Chamieh
Webster's dictionary defines humor as “a normal functioning bodily semifluid or fluid,” and as editors, it has been our pleasure to fill the internet with many funny semifluids and fluids this year. We've published so many funny pieces this year, and it was a tough task to whittle down to just 15. One of the joys of being an editor is getting to read so much good and funny writing, and it was a pleasure to go back through all of 2024's semifluids and pick out a few memorable ones to highlight.
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Dec 4, 2024 | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
The Lost Colony of RoanokeMyth: An English colony which vanished without a trace, leaving only the single word “Croatoan.”Disappointing Truth: Statistically, English colonies are no more likely to vanish without a trace leaving only the single word “Croatoan” in Roanoke than in other areas of similar size and population. The fact that Roanoke became particularly associated with this commonplace misfortune has more to do with the media than with reality.
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Aug 22, 2024 | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
I’m sensing a lot of distress. Have you tried wailing inconsolably until someone comes to fix it? Tell me a little bit more about your professional life. Do you work as a therapist? No? There’s other kinds of jobs too? Interesting. How would you describe your relationship with your Mama? I just want to open this session by saying how happy I am to see you. When you left after last session, I thought for sure that you had ceased to exist permanently, but once again, here you are. Dune: Part 2?
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Jul 29, 2024 | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
10-4: Truckers believe that it is bad luck to say the number 40 because this was the number of years the Israelites wandered in the desert. Therefore, whenever they are required to name a quantity between 39 and 50, they use this simple euphemism. Rig: The word rig is an acronym standing for “Really Interesting Giallo.” Truckers love all forms of transgressive cinema, but have a particular fondness for the stylish but lurid Italian noir of the '60s and '70s.
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Jun 12, 2024 | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
It was the bottom of the tenth. The Slumsville Porridges were down 19-20, which was also the year, against the Pecuniopolis Stockbrokers. The whole town had gathered in the stands, because they were too poor to afford a place in the seats. Things looked bad, but there was one hope. The name of that hope was “Two Foot” Lumpy Stubbins. Slumsville had been a good town once. That had been when the soup factory was still running. Then, the stock market crashed.
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May 21, 2024 | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
Myth: Balloon animals are easier pets than real animals. You don’t need anything but a string and a corner of ceiling you’re not using. Fact: Balloon animals need regular care and enrichment, just like any animal. Taking them out for a regular float is a good start, but they also need cognitive stimulation and balloon carnivores will need something to hunt. If they aren’t in a stimulating environment, they’ll start to squeak and slowly deflate over time.
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Apr 19, 2024 | 
pointsincase.com | Lillie Franks
You wish to know who it is who has possessed your child’s body? Very well. I am known by many names. Satan. Lucifer. The Prince of Darkness. The King of Corruption. The Monarch of Malevolence. The Sultan of Sin. The Higher-up of Heinousness. The Boss From Hell. Jonathan Evil, the man who evil is named after. The Wonder From Down Under. Mr. Candle, because I’m wicked. Yes, I have walked this Earth under countless forms for countless years. You have called me the Anti-Christ. Bizarro-God. The Divinaughty.
