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2 weeks ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
I’ve never heard someone say, “I have a good back.” A great butt? Sure. Killer abs? Absolutely. But backs are either present, or bad. My back used to be present, but it broke bad recently. What happened? A fucking cold. Can you believe it? I couldn’t. But there I was, coughing my lungs out and sneezing my nose off, and somewhere in the middle of all that whiplashing, I felt the muscles in my mid-back stiffen, twist into a thousand mini-pretzels, and freeze into a solid mass, like Han Solo in carbonite.
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3 weeks ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
The phone rings. There’s no caller ID, but it could be a work thing so I pick up and say, “This is Michael.”“Hey Michael, this is Bob from 205, we’ve got Carlos again. He was wandering through the building, and well, you really need to keep a better eye on him, because you know, he got out again ... and anyway, we’ve got him, so...”I don’t like Bob’s tone or the implication that I’ve somehow been derelict in my duties. Also, I’m not sure I’m the Michael he’s looking for. "OK.
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1 month ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. For some reason, though, they usually chop off the end of that Oscar Wilde quote. Here’s the full quote: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”I was in high school the first time someone brought that quote to my attention. I was the assistant couch for the middle school flag football team. One Halloween, a dozen players came to school dressed like me. The Michael Estrin costume was easy to pull off.
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1 month ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
I’m never sure if I’m supposed find a hill worth dying on, or if it’s purely a matter of avoiding the hills I don’t want to die on. I spent the better part of a recent weekday morning in hill country, speaking with billing specialists at our doctor’s office and our insurance company.
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1 month ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
This was a fun, wide-ranging conversation with my friend . We talked about:Letterman vs. Leno, and why comedy that bombs can be better than comedy that doesn’t. The absurdity of my Substack bestseller badge. My recent Waymo story. A blue turn into bathroom humor that seemed to disappoint at least one person in the comments. How Alex and I both suck at disappointing people, and why we’re supposed to get better at it. Alex’s latest legal shenanigans, which are absolutely not legal.
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1 month ago | 
botharetrue.substack.com | Michael Estrin
is one of my oldest Substack friends. He's a good friend. We’re both part of the extended Comedic Personal Essay Universe. I write and he writes , stories for people who enjoy humor with a side of humanity and a dash of insightWe were also part of a now defunct writer's group for a long time with and , though I do regularly worry that they’re still meeting up without me and laughing about how much I suck. Michael and I used to go to Substack events in LA and be weird in the corner together.
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1 month ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
William Gibson, the sci-fi author who coined the term cyberspace, once said, “The future is already here — it’s just not evenly distributed.” Case in point: I promised the situation normie community I’d ride in a Waymo “robo taxi” and write about it. That seemed doable. But Waymo, aka the future, is available only in select areas of Los Angeles. Several of those areas aren’t even part of the city of Los Angeles; looking at you, Santa Monica, Culver City, West Hollywood, and Beverly Hills.
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2 months ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
I’ve often heard that people aren’t born bigots, but rather that hatred is learned. I want to believe that’s true. It sounds hopeful, as if all we have to do is stop teaching hatred and it’ll go away. But I’m not so sure. Because if that statement is true, then hatred has a “chicken or the egg” problem. In any case, my neighbor, Racist Jim, is a slow learner. In the seven years we’ve lived across the street from Jim, he’s shown us exactly who he is in the Maya Angelou sense of the phrase.
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2 months ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
I never read Jim Bouton’s book, Ball Four: My Life and Hard Times Throwing the Knuckleball in the Big Leagues. Maybe one day I’ll remedy that, because I love baseball, and I love a good memoir, especially if it tells the unvarnished truth.
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2 months ago | 
michaelestrin.substack.com | Michael Estrin
Whenever the shit hits the fan in the old US of A, Christina says something along the lines of, “Oh my god, we’re Rome.” She means ancient Rome, and what she’s saying is that America is collapsing faster than an undercooked soufflé. My response: “We should be so lucky.” The Roman Republic went the distance, nearly 500 years; the Roman Empire went another five centuries; if you count the Byzantine Empire (aka the Eastern Roman Empire), add another thousand years or so.
