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3 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have become friends with another couple over the past two years, and we frequently invite them for dinner. Lately, I've noticed that the husband leaves the toilet seat up after using the bathroom. Both my husband and I have a habit of closing the lid before flushing. Is there a way I can politely bring this up with our guest? My husband believes it would be rude for me to mention it and that I should do nothing.
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3 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like to hear your opinion on whether or not using "Excuse me" can be rude. In my opinion, if I can see that a person's activity will only take a minute, it is rude to say, "Excuse me," and expect them to stop what they're doing to allow me to accomplish my task. The proper thing to do, in my mind, is to patiently wait my turn. What do you think? GENTLE READER: It depends on the activity.
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3 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an executive chef at a five-star restaurant who frequently entertains at home. I love to cook creatively and come up with ideas for things the guests have never had done before, usually with success. However, I got some feedback after a dinner party that makes me wonder if I may have breached a rule of etiquette of which I was unaware.
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3 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After well over a year of enduring political campaigning, we are quite fatigued from it all. The results were quite disappointing to us. Then our dear neighbor announced they were mounting a campaign to run for a state district office and requested our substantial financial and fundraising support. While understanding the need for a yearslong strategic process to achieve this goal, we have concerns. Physically and financially, we are not in a place to participate.
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3 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I own a beachfront timeshare with two bedrooms, each with a full bath attached. When I invite a guest, should I offer them the much larger "owner's suite," or the very-nice-but-smaller guest suite? Do I take my guidance from the names of these spaces, or should I give my guest the larger space? GENTLE READER: The reason you have a guest room -- a rather lush one, Miss Manners gathers -- is to avoid resenting your guest for displacing you from your own room.
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3 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Relative to the longstanding tradition of men proposing marriage to women, and in this day of slow (but hopefully inexorable) movement towards gender equity, I wonder if the percent of marriage proposals initiated by women has increased. Should it? GENTLE READER: Sure, it should. In a sensible world, it would hardly matter which half of a couple suggested getting married. But there is nothing sensible about what has happened to marriage proposals.
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4 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend and I have a long-standing, semi-joking disagreement, but I do think my behavior bothers her, and I just don't understand why. We typically meet for dinner. Now, I am not a big dining-out person. I am just not that interested in food. I'm more of an "eat to live" person, if you know what I mean.
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4 weeks ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend, Nora, whom I have known since high school. She now lives in a nearby town, but too far to just make a visit for the day, so when we do get together, it requires a weekend stay for her and her husband. We do get along and enjoy their visit, except for one thing. When I entertain, I like to plan all the meals, snacks, etc., and prepare them in advance so I don't spend a lot of time cooking while they are here.
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1 month ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in an upscale office building in the downtown core. Our building is supposed to be solicitor-free, but on occasion we get walk-in solicitors, companies trying to sell their services and people trying to give resumes. This is both annoying and bothersome. Our office is locked, so these people need to ring or knock to be let in -- and then when they come in, I realize they are not clients, but peddlers.
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1 month ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was on a flight and sitting in the aisle seat. The middle seat and window seat were occupied by strangers. The plane had landed, and people were standing in the aisle waiting for the door to open. I remained seated, waiting for the aisle to clear. The woman in the window seat reached over and poked me, telling me to stand up. I have severe hearing loss. I wear a hearing aid and an implant. I'm not sure if she had been trying to tell me this and I hadn't heard her. I was infuriated.
