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1 day ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I worked with someone who was uber passive-aggressive and made my life at work difficult. Fortunately, she retired at the end of the semester. There was a retirement gathering for her with cake and coffee, given by her colleagues. I vowed long ago as division chair to never attend a gathering for this individual, so I skipped it. I was confronted and scolded regarding my absence. I didn't want to lie, so I said there were personal issues that precluded me from attending.
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2 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been friends with someone for 12 years. We used to do everything together, and were even roommates for a while. Then she met a wealthy guy at the coast. I have met him a handful of times, and he always seems nice. They are now married and live on a yacht. My husband and I spend most of our summer vacations at the same coastal town where they live. They have invited many people to come and spend weekends with them on the boat; however, we have never been invited.
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3 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Between my husband and me, who have each been married previously to other people, we have four children, 11 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. We have been married to each other for almost 25 years. Six of the grandchildren and all of the great-grandchildren have been born during our marriage. I am especially close to some of the grandchildren from his side of the family.
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5 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a breast augmentation surgery 20 years ago, for reasons that I still think were good ones. I am not interested in having to justify my choice to anyone, and in any case, it's not something I could undo even if I wanted to. I'm now single and dating.
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6 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would be most grateful if you could provide guidance on how to graciously handle two common problems with email. 1. The response, "I never check that account."What do we do when our correspondence goes into a black hole? A number of people have claimed that the message I sent went to an account that they never check. But they don't offer a newer or better address. 2. Social correspondents writing from their work accounts.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have always struggled to get along with my mother-in-law. We are very different in tastes and temperament. I have tried to be polite and welcoming, to encourage familial bonds and to find some way to make her happy, but nothing I have done has ever been right. She is quite outspoken in her negative opinions, so time with her is a series of insults -- all for the purpose of educating and improving me, of course. It seems I am ridiculously hypersensitive for having hurt feelings.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am part of a group of six college friends from 50 years ago. We stay in touch by texting often, and getting together in person every few years. We are spread out geographically, but one friend and I are just a few miles apart and have always seen each other more often. I was to stop by this friend's house to pick something up, and I texted her my expected arrival time.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been taking time off work to help care for my father, who has incurable cancer. To clients I don't know well, I've said, "I'll be out of town to help my dad, who is sick."They almost invariably reply, "I hope he feels better soon." I know they mean well, and I usually manage to take it that way. But that doesn't stop it from feeling like a gut punch, because I know he is only going to feel worse over the few months he has left.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would you consider it rude to bring an additional dish to a dinner, even if it wasn't requested? This is for an Easter dinner, so it is a meal in which the dishes are meant to be special. When I asked what I could contribute, I was asked to bring a side.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What exactly are the rules for saving seats at an informal event where seats are not assigned? When I was invited to my nephew's martial arts presentation, I arrived half an hour early to save seats for my family of five (three of us were present) because the others were coming from work and couldn't arrive early. A woman came and sat in one of the saved seats, even though my jacket was on the seat, and I politely told her that it was reserved.
