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1 day ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am trying to drink more water, so I set an alarm on my phone to remind me hourly. Sometimes I am in public when the alarm (birds or crickets chirping) goes off. I turn it off immediately, but my husband says the noise is rude. But if I could remember to shut off the alarm when leaving the house, I wouldn't need an alarm to drink water in the first place. Am I being impolite? GENTLE READER: It depends where the alarm goes off.
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2 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have joined a fitness club. The policy of the gym is that members do not talk on their phones in the workout area. While there is very little of that, many people do talk with each other and text on their phones. The problem is they sit on the machines while doing so -- sometimes for five or 10 minutes.
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3 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have developmental prosopagnosia, or face-blindness, and cannot recognize any human faces. I work remotely in a profession that does not require me to interact directly with others. My husband watches TV and movies with me in case I confuse the characters, and goes to parties with me to help me know who I'm talking with. I have been very open about my condition and my willingness to answer questions about it, and have made sure to inform all my friends about it.
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5 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is a polite way to refuse a hug with friends or strangers? What to do when my proffered handshake is batted away and a hug pursued instead? Some men, especially, seem to want to hug me because of my large chest, and it seems more like sexual assault than a friendly gesture. And there are certain women (whom I do not consider friends) who have behaved badly to me in the past, and I do not want them to touch me. Is the advice the same in either case?
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6 days ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was taught by my mother and grandmother, who practiced what they preached, that condolence letters are to be acknowledged. Their practice was to answer every condolence letter with a return letter. It could be long or short, but at the very least it should express gratitude for the sender's thoughtfulness.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I have chosen not to register for gifts. Not only do we wish to do what is proper, but we already live together in a tiny apartment and have neither the need nor the space for additional housekeeping items. Nor do we wish to crassly solicit money from our guests.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When hosting a cocktail hour, how does the hostess gracefully navigate the quantity of food served? For example, if the cheese platter is reduced to a few bites, should the hostess be constantly monitoring and replenishing it, even if the planned "hour" has passed? I certainly don't want to appear stingy with guests. But bringing out more food seems to encourage lingering and drifting into dinner time and beyond.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is graduating from high school, but she does not want a party. I would still like to send out graduation cards to help celebrate her achievement, but I don't know how to write it. Should I state that she is not having a party, but that she is attending the ceremony? I would like for people to have a way to congratulate her without having a party. How do I do this? GENTLE READER: What do you mean by "congratulate," and by "a way" for others to do so?
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a relatively nice person who works near me in a busy financial office. They are talented and smart, but they have an annoying habit of interjecting a constant stream of unsolicited advice and warnings about health into every single conversation. They will warn me of the plastic in teabags as they watch me make a cup of tea, or the danger of using medical-grade masks to avoid viruses. They blurt out, "Milk -- instant inflammation!" as I put cream in my coffee.
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1 week ago | 
arcamax.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend, who professes to love me, behaved irrationally on a two-day visit to my house. He says he is always in a lot of pain due to fibromyalgia, neuropathy and a tendon missing in his shoulder. I have two disintegrating discs pressing on nerves in my lower back, which is very painful. During his visit, I waited on him hand and foot while he lollygagged on a sofa. He went to take a shower in my guest bath, and apparently the shower did not work well.
