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Pat Myers

Washington, D.C.

Empress of the just-axed Style Invitational, WaPo's humor/wordplay contest. Now back at https://t.co/F3yvHZGKnC -- sign up now!

Featured in: Favicon msn.com Favicon washingtonpost.com Favicon allrecipes.com Favicon substack.com (+2) Favicon hometowndebate.com Favicon thegazette.com

Articles

  • The Invitational Week 119: Step Into the Void

    2 weeks ago | geneweingarten.substack.com | Pat Myers

    Hello. Ready for a challenge? Good. Want some help? Too bad. That’s the new contest, above, everything that’s between the Headlines and “Hello.” There are no further instructions. The Invitational has done this only once before, exactly 20 years ago, and the results were excellent. Are you as creative as the last Invite generation was? For Invite Week 119:Do what we just told you to do. Surprise us.

  • The Invitational Week 117: Join Our Secret Text Group!

    4 weeks ago | geneweingarten.substack.com | Pat Myers

    Hello. Welcome to the New and Imporved Invitational, in which we bounce right off the news with our newfound catlike speed and grace.

  • Important message for entrants to the Invitational food-art contest, Week 116

    1 month ago | geneweingarten.substack.com | Pat Myers

    Yes, it’s ChatGPT. Don’t start with me; I’m ticked off enough here. Well, this is mystifying. And irritating. Mystirritating. But not catastrophic. When we announced The Invitational’s Week 116 contest to produce a funny artwork using real food, and then send us a photo of it, we asked that entrants email them to us at [email protected], in…

  • The Invitational Week 116: Throw Food at Us

    1 month ago | geneweingarten.substack.com | Pat Myers

    Hello. Gene is on vacation abroad this week, so your humble Empress of The Invitational — whose stateside palace Mount Vermin does have reliable internet — instead offers his image via legume to bring back a contest we last did fourteen years ago, one that’s always brought us fabulous results, some more of which we’ll share below.

  • The Invitational Week 115: Two Ways About It

    1 month ago | geneweingarten.substack.com | Pat Myers

    Something that might be said both while driving and while using the toilet:Will that piece of shit just pass already? At a rodeo and in Congress: That clown got buried by a ton of bull. At a football game and in Congress:Oh, no, it’s Mean Greene coming at me — why did I want to ever set foot in this arena? We’re back with one of our most successful contests — which isn’t surprising, given the verbal flexibility of the Loser Community, The Invitational’s gutter-brained corps of contestants.

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Pat Myers
Pat Myers @PatMyersEmpress
17 Jan 24

RT @AoDespair: A brief history of my alma mater: When the Abell family sold the Baltimore Sun to an out-of-town newspaper chain, we frette…

Pat Myers
Pat Myers @PatMyersEmpress
3 Oct 23

Not a fun story, but so important: @JoelAchenbach & partners worked for a year to document how tens of millions are suffering from--& dying from--chronic diseases much more and earlier than in comparable countries. The stats and stories will haunt you. https://t.co/ydslMaOAdd

Pat Myers
Pat Myers @PatMyersEmpress
21 Sep 23

“I’d rather have bliss with two sisters than a cyst with two blisters.” Can you think of a funny chiasmus/spoonerism for our latest Invitational contest? Deadline Sept. 30. Plus: How to show respect/compassion for Trump-lovers. https://t.co/5opOjGwTaC