-
1 day ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
Hey hey, get Wonkette in your box! Good morning, it’s time for tabs! You know who else did disastrous tariffs? That’s right! Hitler. (The Atlantic) Hey, how’s the economy? Is it “good”? Here’s six charts of … oh dear. (Senate Banking Democrats) Tesla knows who is to blame for its net profit dropping 71 percent this quarter. It is … no seriously, it is Donald Trump. (Wall Street Journal) Supreme Court is piiiissed.
-
2 days ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
Even though the Trump administration wants to shut down the US Department of Education and is slashing funding for education and science across the federal government, the White House has also drafted an executive order that would mandate schools integrate artificial intelligence in K-12 education, because all our kids need to learn about the technology that will replace them.
-
6 days ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
Well it’s just another horrible news day, but we got us babe. What do you need to know everyday? Subscribe and find out! Supreme Court taking up Trump’s challenge to the mean lower courts that said he couldn’t overwrite the Constitution of the United States of America and singlehandedly declare babies born in the US stateless uncitizens. I’m sure it will be GREAT.
-
1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
Just 23 more paid monthly subscriptions (as of last evening!) and you get NO FUCKFACES, ONLY DARLING ANIMALS, for A WEEK! And now your morning horrors. America’s intellectual refugees. (Forbes) So is it safe here? Well, maybe if you’re not a person the entire federal government has decided to target because you said something he doesn’t like. (MSNBC)The future (where they know where you are every second and can disappear you at any time) is now.
-
1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
I know your first question is “DID I (you mean you) SAVE THE DAY YESTERDAY WHEN YOU SHRIEKED AND CRIED AT US TO SEND YOU MONEY?” The answer is yes, probably, there were an awful lot of you. We shall just see if we stop putting fuckfaces all over the website, won’t we? (Thank you, we love you.) Here’s a subscription button, or there’s another below! Now on to today’s fresh horrors! Smart and legal. So that’s smart and legal.
-
1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
I know that fucking lunatic stole all your money, and you are freaking the fuck out and crying into your catfood. But I promised I would let you know if we really need your help, and I am mortified to say for the second time in a month HELLLLP HELLLLP HELPPPPPPP, or else … no or else. Just HELLLLPPPPP. Two weeks after I moneybegged you to please sign up if you are able, or we would miss our payroll, I am back.
-
1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
What are we reading together this fine day? Wherever we go, whatever we do, we’re gonna go through it together!Supreme Court after a weirdly long time considering the facts of the case orders Trump to show its work on bringing back his “accidental” kidnap victim, Kilmar Abrego Garcia. Or at least tells the last judge who told them to bring his ass back to “clarify” her order so they can report back on what they’re not going to do to bring his ass back.
-
2 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
Oh wait hey, did Trump pause the tariffs again and instead do a quadruple tariff on China? What will he do tomorrow? Who fucking knows? All we know is that guy rooooooolllled. (Orange County Register) The Fucking News explains as best it can the soup-sandwich of no tariffs but also 10 percent tariffs. (TFN)Oh no, mean Rep. Steve Horsford made this US Trade Representative dweeb cry :(Jamelle Bouie on Trump’s zero-sum pathology and need for dominance. Gross.
-
2 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
Supreme Court back on Trump’s jock, this time vacating judges’ orders that he rehire all the thousands of people Elon Musk threw in the woodchipper. Weird! (AP) Sure, yes, 104 percent tariffs on China. Well, my little Temu problem was fun while it lasted. (CNN)Who are these investment advisors who were caught by “surprise”?
-
2 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Rebecca Schoenkopf
Yesterday, Shy, Donna Rose, and I joined an unknown number of thousands of our Detroit neighbors and marched up and down Woodward a mile and a half each way. And it was fucking wonderful. Here’s my favorite Garrett Bucks explainingone of the ways why the 1300 protests around the country matters. I’d say even more important is striking fear into the hearts of Congress. Also more important is people’s awesome signs.
