Richard Ord

1 week ago | sunderlandecho.com | Richard Ord

​My current life partner is suffering from an ear infection caused, most likely, due to her overuse of cotton buds. ​You know the ones. Three-inch plastic straws with pea-sized cotton balls at each end - like a wasp’s pugil stick. These buds come with a warning. Do not put them inside your ear!For the record, I don’t think I’ve ever used cotton buds to clean my ears, but if I was ever to answer the question: What are cotton buds used for? I think I would answer: To clean your ears.

2 weeks ago | sunderlandecho.com | Richard Ord

​According to statistics, you are four times more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than you are a shark. Not everyone, that is, just specifically YOU! I know where you live and I’m determined you should suffer a rare and comical death. If I can combine the two grisly endings, all the better. A shark firing the fatal Champagne cork blow would be just perfect. You have been warned. Leave the logistics to me.

3 weeks ago | shieldsgazette.com | Richard Ord

A whistlestop Edinburgh visit revealed the surprising bedroom secrets of the Royal Family, perhaps Scotland’s greatest bakery – and a spectacular beagle-eye view of the city’s most famous landmark. Chatting to guests in Edinburgh’s newest hotel it was clear, given the sheer volume of recommendations for places to visit, an overnight stay was never going to do the city justice. But hey, the fun is trying to squeeze everything in, right? Not all can make the must-do list.

3 weeks ago | shieldsgazette.com | Richard Ord

​While I was pegging out the washing, I heard the next door neighbour turn the air blue with a stream of four-letter words that would have Chubby Brown blushing. ​It sounded like he’d caught his wife in bed with his best mate and then stepped on a piece of Lego. That kind of pain.

1 month ago | msn.com | Richard Ord

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