Sara K. Runnels

Seattle

Copywriter. Humor writer. Writer-writer. Words in @NewYorker, @McSweeneys, @ElleMagazine @Cosmopolitan @Betchesluvthis, @REI, @OverheardLA, your dreams, etc.

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Articles

The White House or The White Lotus?

2 weeks ago | mcsweeneys.net | Sara K. Runnels

1. White people achieve new levels of whiteness via their most privileged impulses. 2. The stars of the show are a group of entitled and insensitive characters who may or may not face the consequences of their own actions. 3. There will be some antagonists and villains from previous seasons. 4. New and unsavory characters will be introduced. 5. Class, wealth, and power will be constantly explored in a way that seems humorous at first but is ultimately dispiriting and devastating. 6.
Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel

4 weeks ago | mcsweeneys.net | Sara K. Runnels

“The moment I saw him charging the steps on January 6, I knew I wanted to rip off his Viking helmet and find out how quickly he could send my body into a constitutional crisis.”- - -“He had a sharp, strong jawline from years of clenching it every time someone mentioned universal health care.”- - -“I could tell he was the kind of hunk who wanted to undo my bra—and my rights.”- - -“A spicy DM from his anti-woke meme account landed in my X inbox. I smirked as Grok replied, ‘Hot.
Items Still on the Shelf at the Forever 21 Bankruptcy Sale

1 month ago | yahoo.com | Sara K. Runnels

Sara K. Runnels and Yahoo may earn commission from links in this story. Pricing and availability subject to change. Don’t miss out on the hottest, edgiest, most flammable items that will make you say, “what…even is this?”Sara K.
Outdoorsy Date Ideas for Valentine's Day - Uncommon Path – An REI Co-op Publication

2 months ago | rei.com | Sarah Grothjan |Sara K. Runnels

There are two types of people in this world: Those who think Valentine’s Day is fun, special and wholesome, and those who think the “made-up holiday” is just like any other day on the planet. Both are valid, of course, but we forget that, as creative humans with free will, we can make February 14th anything we want it to be. If you’re not interested in the conventions of the holiday, there are always alternatives. Instead of dinner reservations, why not camping reservations?
Humor: Seeking a Macho Man for the U.S. Department of Masculine Energy

2 months ago | yahoo.com | Sara K. Runnels

Is this the next man-didate for D.O.M.E.? Job Opening for the U.S. Department of Masculine EnergyBackgroundAs DEI (Diversity, Equity & Inclusion) programs begin to falter, and WHITE (Weird, Homogenous, Insensitive, Tense & Exclusionary) programs emerge, analysts predict a cultural landscape shift among offices around the nation—from the Oval, to other-shaped ones.
Humor: Every Influencer Post Ever

2 months ago | creators.yahoo.com | Sara K. Runnels

Sara K. RunnelsJan 29, 2025Wed, January 29, 2025 at 7:36 PM UTC4 min readGRWM Wow! So many of you have reached out via DMs, comments, emails, texts, handwritten letters, phone calls to my husband, smoke signals and telepathy to ask where you could buy the shirt I was wearing in yesterday’s post! Well, you can’t; I found it in the garbage.
Familiar Sayings Updated for the Next Four Years

Nov 27, 2024 | mcsweeneys.net | Sara K. Runnels

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you McDonald’s. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him use an all-gender bathroom. It takes a village to run the Department of Government Efficiency. Two wrongs do make a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Wow, that costs an arm and an egg!The early bird gets the brain worm. When the going gets tough, the tough google “how move country?”Childless cat lady got your tongue? Fool us once, shame on us. Fool us twice, shame on us.
Has a body wash ever made you cry?

Nov 21, 2024 | yahoo.com | Sara K. Runnels

Grief, in a bottleYahoo CreatorSara K. RunnelsThu, November 21, 2024 at 9:25 PM UTC3 min readI’ve had this bottle of body wash for two years now. It rests on the bottom shelf of the bench in our spacious shower, next to a wet army of products I don’t use as religiously. Every now and then, I’ll reach for the tediously-squeezed plastic, shake what’s left of the pale-blue goo, pop the top, and take a deep, dedicated inhale.
All The Evidence That 'RHOBH' Bozoma Saint John Is Already Pretty Iconic

Nov 18, 2024 | betches.com | Ilana Frost |Syeda Khaula Saad |Laura Rizzo Chagani |Sara K. Runnels

I know Shakespeare put it out there that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but as someone who does occasionally like to judge a book by its cover, I think a say says a lot. When I first heard the name “Bozoma Saint John,” it instantly said to me: now THIS is going to be a Real Housewife. Bozoma, or Boz as she goes by to her besties, is the only full-time newbie joining season 14 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which is a pretty tall order of fabulosity to fill.
Who Is Brianna Chickenfry's New Boyfriend? Australian Boy Rumor

Nov 18, 2024 | betches.com | Laura Rizzo Chagani |Sara K. Runnels |Kat Pickhardt |Marissa Dow

A few weeks after her messy Zach Bryan breakup and the wild BFFs tell-all episode that followed, Brianna Chickenfry is so back. Despite recently accusing the country singer of emotional abuse and alleging that he tried to silence her with $12 million, Bri seems to be maintaining a positive attitude and enjoying her fresh start sans Zach. She’s becoming a Swiftie, moving to a new apartment in New York City, going out with friends, and meeting hot guys.