Steven Stosny

If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s. – Carl Jung

Criticism is to your relationships what smoking is to your health. “Criticism is the only reliable form of autobiography.” – Oscar Wilde. “To be little, you have to be little.” – Kahlil Gibran

Flashpoints of Resentment and Anger | Psychology Today https://t.co/8m2IzpA8xU

Resentment is self-eroding, leading to depression and physical symptoms. The powerful urge to justify it tells us it’s not good for us. Wishing things were not the way they are, instead of improving them, keeps us stuck in resentment.

If you don’t like the behavior of loved ones, and want to make things worse, blame and criticize.  If you want to positively influence them, lshow that you care what they think and how they feel. Most of what we fight about in love relationships is failure of compassion.

Recovering From Cynical Depression | Psychology Today https://t.co/KQQQZ0Kk1S

Emotional abuse: Inequality is the spark, blame is the fuel, abuse is the flame. Attempting to put out the flame without turning off the fuel and dimming the spark is futile.

Feeling compassion is important but not so important as behaving compassionately.

To Avoid Burnout Act on Your Deeper Values | Psychology Today https://t.co/Xik6XkHr1y

The mirror of love shows how generous, open, flexible, passionate, funny, creative, thoughtful, and attentive we can be, and, eventually, how petty, rigid, defensive, irritable, or manipulative we can become.

Although essential to loving relationships, compassion is a paradox. If available whenever needed, it's rarely needed.

There are four people in a committed relationship—the partners and their egos. The partners support and appreciate each other, show compassion and kindness. Their egos are self-obsessed, entitled, controlling, easily insulted, and quick to insult. https://t.co/tafcAKexdz

The Shadows of Interactions | Psychology Today https://t.co/BTzxZT6081

One of the worst things we can do in modern relationships is to pretend that we know how to make them work. Under that illusion, we’ll think our partners don’t care enough to do what we “know” would make our relationships better. 1/2

The most loving thing you can say to your partner: Teach me how to love you. https://t.co/JnUwuDbNVx 2/2

It’s hard to get out of a hurtful relationship; negative emotions can be more binding than positive ones. The greatest risk when finally out is succumbing to victim identity. To heal and recover, focus on strengths and resilience, not past mistreatment.

Maintaining Basic Humanity in the Tempest of Inflated Egos | Psychology Today https://t.co/96isFIPUL3