Judith Martin

Pet owners, like parents, do not take kindly to being told that their dependents are undesirable, even if there is evidence.

Our devices change much faster than the human condition, which means etiquette can usually adapt relatively easily.

The Victorians did us a disservice by overdoing the show of bereavement to the point where people got tired of living in mandated symbolic gloom. As usual, this led to the opposite extreme—the expectation of a quick return to normal life.

Sufficiently Polite for the Modern World sounds like a standard for those who have given up caring—one step behind Do Whatever Comes Naturally, though perhaps better than the perpetually-dreary, Whatever Makes You Happy.

This is why Miss Manners keeps rejecting “No gifts please”: It doesn’t work. Some people simply ignore it. Others interpret it as a coy prompt to be sure to give presents, or as a request for cash instead of goods.

Never make guesses about people. Never, ever. Do not guess where they are from, do not guess whether they are pregnant, do not guess how old they are—just do not guess. And do not take that as permission to ask outright.

Telephone usage is evolving, creating the hope—or illusion—that we will arrive at some reasonable understanding. One encouraging sign is that many people consider it wrong simply to telephone, without first texting to set a convenient time to talk.

Does the “celebration of life” require etiquette adjustments from the funeral, which it is increasingly replacing? There is a danger in the very premise a celebration of life requires—the attempt to banish sadness. So please do not mandate cheerfulness

It is the duty of guests to socialize with the hosts and other guests. The rule is to separate couples so that they can do so. They should not be asked, because no one wants to declare a preference for being apart. If there is a compelling reason, the guest should declare it.

Doctors tell Miss Manners that they should be so addressed because earned the right to that title, and that they use patients’ first names to be friendly and put them at ease. But patients are also entitled to honorifics, just by virtue of being adult human beings.

One rudeness does not justify another.

It is true that gentlemen—but not ladies—were supposed to remove their gloves when shaking hands—but Miss Manners is hereby suspending that rule.

It is churlish to deprecate politeness. There is little enough of it going around.

When it comes to tipping, which is supposed to be a compliment, it is almost impossible not to insult someone somehow.

Why, indeed, does everyone, celebrated or just hoping to be celebrated, feel the need to post everything about their lives? We claim to care about our privacy.

With all of the schemes, demands, and shenanigans associated with modern present giving, the act has all but lost its charm.

In contrast to rolling stones, repeated sources of friction in relationships tend to gather to themselves all sorts of stray detritus.