Judith Martin

If there is one thing Miss Manners would think these your adults should have learned from posting personal information, it is that showing off to others does not inspire universal admiration.

There is no hierarchy to saying “Good Morning.” Rather it is the responsibility of the first one who notices the other and preferably makes eye contact.

A small history lesson: Centuries ago, the all-purpose female honorific was Mistress, as devoid of marital status as Mister. These were abbreviated as Ms. and Mr. So those who object to its being too new a term are quite wrong.

Graduation ceremonies can be meaningful to the graduates and their immediate families, but you will perhaps forgive Miss Manners for saying that they are not general entertainment.

Are you not constantly being solicited for money and goods from just about everyone who has your contact information? Miss Manners assures you that that does not make it a proper thing, nor one requiring a response.

The etiquette of the semi-private room in a medical facility requires a delicate balance between familiarity and distance. One can hardly pretend the other person is not there, so initial introductions and greetings are in order.

Miss Manners has long objected when those who receive formal announcements of graduations or weddings characterize these as “gift grabs.” Why shouldn’t people simply share their good news?Announcements are not invoices. The proper response is to send congratulations.

Asking people about their medical devices is technically not, Miss Manners admits, inquiring into someone’s medical condition—which would be a no-no—but it is too nearly that to receive her blessing.

A letter of thanks does not require a response. A present, given for whatever reason, does.

Pet owners, like parents, do not take kindly to being told that their dependents are undesirable, even if there is evidence.

Our devices change much faster than the human condition, which means etiquette can usually adapt relatively easily.

The Victorians did us a disservice by overdoing the show of bereavement to the point where people got tired of living in mandated symbolic gloom. As usual, this led to the opposite extreme—the expectation of a quick return to normal life.

Sufficiently Polite for the Modern World sounds like a standard for those who have given up caring—one step behind Do Whatever Comes Naturally, though perhaps better than the perpetually-dreary, Whatever Makes You Happy.

This is why Miss Manners keeps rejecting “No gifts please”: It doesn’t work. Some people simply ignore it. Others interpret it as a coy prompt to be sure to give presents, or as a request for cash instead of goods.

Never make guesses about people. Never, ever. Do not guess where they are from, do not guess whether they are pregnant, do not guess how old they are—just do not guess. And do not take that as permission to ask outright.

Telephone usage is evolving, creating the hope—or illusion—that we will arrive at some reasonable understanding. One encouraging sign is that many people consider it wrong simply to telephone, without first texting to set a convenient time to talk.

Does the “celebration of life” require etiquette adjustments from the funeral, which it is increasingly replacing? There is a danger in the very premise a celebration of life requires—the attempt to banish sadness. So please do not mandate cheerfulness