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1 week ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m an adult with physical and emotional disabilities, and I live with my caregiver. I have an older friend who is a very sweet person with good intentions, but I feel like she doesn’t really understand my needs. Among other things, I have a catheter and use a wheelchair. She often says she wants to “take me out on the town” to “get crazy.” So far, she’s never followed through with any of these invitations, but every time she brings it up, I feel very uncomfortable.
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1 week ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and his wife were visiting me for a week. During that week, I was invited to a barbecue at the home of some old friends. I explained that my brother and sister-in-law were visiting and asked if it would be OK for them to attend. The hostess said “of course.” I made extra portions of food and brought them along.
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2 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boss let me know that my co-workers have often “told on me,” reporting when I arrive back to work three minutes late from lunch or leave a few minutes early. I don’t know how to continue to work with these people and see them daily, now that I know that none of them are my friends — and that, in fact, they have it out for me and are reporting every little thing I do. GENTLE READER: Naive Miss Manners never fell for the line that her co-workers should also be her best friends.
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2 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should a daughter spend Father’s Day with her husband or her father? I haven’t seen my daughter on Father’s Day since she got married 18 years ago. Her husband demands to spend Father’s Day at their beach house 300 miles away, and later they will want to host me there for a visit. I think this is extremely selfish of him and a slap in the face to me. She has no backbone when it comes to him and his family; she “married up,” or so she thinks.
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2 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My youngest son is getting married this summer. His wife-to-be has a large extended family. I have received an invitation to a dinner/shower which, across the top in big letters, states: “Couples only.”I am not in a couple, and haven’t been for some time. I am not dating anyone, and my ex-husband is dead, so I can’t ask him. I am not sure what the correct way is to RSVP. I think this might be the first of similar invites that will come this way.
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3 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have become friends with another couple over the past two years, and we frequently invite them for dinner. Lately, I’ve noticed that the husband leaves the toilet seat up after using the bathroom. Both my husband and I have a habit of closing the lid before flushing. Is there a way I can politely bring this up with our guest? My husband believes it would be rude for me to mention it and that I should do nothing.
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3 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and I celebrated the birthday of a close friend with several others. The dinner was at a restaurant, beginning at 5 p.m. (stated time). We had difficulty finding parking and arrived 15 minutes late, but not because we were careless of the time. Our friends had a table just to the left of the front door. It was obvious that the eight of them had arrived early, for there were empty glasses and picked-over appetizers.
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3 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an executive chef at a five-star restaurant who frequently entertains at home. I love to cook creatively and come up with ideas for things the guests have never had done before, usually with success. However, I got some feedback after a dinner party that makes me wonder if I breached a rule of etiquette of which I was unaware.
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3 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend I have known for over 30 years and consider my best friend. She treated me to dinner at a very expensive restaurant, and as we were leaving, she smiled and showed me that she had put a butter knife in her purse. I was shocked and dismayed, and it must have shown on my face. I said, “Really? You would really do that?” She told me that the restaurant had made plenty of money on the meal. Should I have said or done more?
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3 weeks ago | 
mercurynews.com | Judith Martin |Nicholas Martin |Jacobina Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A young cousin of mine graduated from high school this spring and will be going to college in the fall. I asked his mother what celebrations they were planning; she responded that he didn’t seem to be interested in having a party. I wanted to acknowledge his accomplishments, so the next time I saw him (at another cousin’s wedding reception), I presented him with a graduation card with a small monetary gift inside. His parents may not be aware of this.
