Sam Dylan Finch

Writer at Freelance

Articles

9 Reasons To Consider Therapy, Even If You’re Feeling ‘Fine’

2 months ago | helloalma.com | Sam Dylan Finch |Elisabeth Morray

As someone who’s been in therapy for over a decade, I’m often asked the question, “Why are you still going?”Someone once even asked me, straight to the point, “Aren’t you fixed by now?” (Yikes!)One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is just a space for “fixing” our issues. If we aren’t having any identifiable problems, why would we pursue therapy?
Let's Queer Things Up!

Jan 24, 2025 | letsqueerthingsup.com | Sam Dylan Finch

IntroductionWhat is Verbal Processing? | Internal vs External Processing | | It’s Not Always Binary5 Tips to Support Verbal Processors(1) Feeling Versus Fixing | (2) Naming Your Needs | (3) | (4) Options for Solo Processing | (5) Your Processing Style is Morally NeutralConclusionA Loving Reminder: You’re Allowed to be “Messy”Look at any report card from my childhood, ask any partner I’ve ever dated, or find any of my former bosses on LinkedIn, and all of them will agree: I’m a yapper.
Premarital Counseling Questions & How to Get Started

Jan 21, 2025 | helloalma.com | Jess Sims |Sam Dylan Finch |Elisabeth Morray

Aside from the ring, premarital counseling might just be the ultimate engagement gift. A trained counselor can help you and your fiance align on major issues and coach you in areas where your goals or beliefs don’t necessarily line up (it’s bound to happen). Premarital counseling can also help you learn even more about each other, hone your communication skills, and set clear and helpful boundaries.
How to Heal Your Inner Child When All You Remember is Trauma

Jan 15, 2025 | letsqueerthingsup.com | Sam Dylan Finch

Sometimes, you just want to be told why you do the things you do, and what to do instead. “Try This Instead” is self-help that doesn’t s*ck โ it’s an advice column written by me, Sam Dylan Finch, a neurodivergent writer and lived experience advocate who’s passionate about sharing what I’ve learned. โ Learn more on the about page or submit your question here. Prefer to listen? โFirst off, I want to celebrate your decision to pursue this kind of healing, especially in a supported setting.
3 Questions to Meet and Release Your Fawn Trauma Response

Jan 8, 2025 | letsqueerthingsup.com | Sam Dylan Finch

Settle in, and if you’d like, listen to the blog instead:Pssst!! Learn more about how our subscribers support our goal to provide free audio versions of each new blog post. âWhen I first wrote about fawning â the “people-pleasing” trauma response that therapist and survivor Pete Walker described in his book, “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” â it felt like so many survivors online had a collective reckoning together, breathing a sigh of relief.
ADHD Procrastination Guide: 9 Tools That Support My ADHD Brain

Dec 31, 2024 | letsqueerthingsup.com | Sam Dylan Finch

If you know anything about ADHD, you know that the tools we use to keep our brains on track can get a little less… shiny overtime. When I created my first ADHD survival guide, I knew that it wouldn’t be my last, because as ADHDers, we usually have to update our systems on a regular basis. For me personally, I hit a wall this past year that I would consider a manifestation of “ADHD burnout.” When I first talked about it on Twitter, it seemed to resonate with a lot of you, too.
Why I’m No Longer Striving For My Best, Highest, or ‘Healed’ Self

Dec 31, 2024 | letsqueerthingsup.com | Sam Dylan Finch

Grab a warm beverage if you’d like, and I’ll read it to you:Ten years ago, when I was just 22 years old, I left my home state of Michigan, hoping that the distance would allow me to leave my painful past behind. I was imagining a new, fabulous life in the San Francisco Bay Area, though in hindsight, I wasn’t prepared for what it meant to be an “adult.” This move came after many years of coercive control that didn’t allow me any agency, or even a grounded sense of self.
Is Therapy Worth It? An Honest Review: Benefits and Tips

Sep 13, 2024 | helloalma.com | Sam Dylan Finch |Kevin Doherty

I’ll never forget the first time that I stepped into a therapist’s office. I’ll admit, I… wasn’t really in the best headspace. I came to therapy with a shaking voice, a mountain of mistrust and skepticism, and a backup plan. If this doesn’t work out for me, I thought, I’m done trying. And being at my wit’s end, I essentially told this new-to-me-therapist exactly that.
What Are Attachment Styles — And Can I Change Mine?

Aug 12, 2024 | helloalma.com | Adryan Corcione |Kevin Doherty |Sam Dylan Finch

Attachment styles can be a useful tool, but it’s important to remember that they aren’t your destiny. Back in the summer of 2019, a friend suggested I read Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, and lended me their copy. At the time, I was casually seeing a guy from a dating app I barely knew but was infatuated with… only for him to ghost me shortly after we hooked up.
How to Tell If a Therapist is (Really) Neurodiversity-Affirming

Jul 31, 2024 | helloalma.com | Sam Dylan Finch

Finding a therapist who “gets” your neurodivergence can be transformative. But how can you tell if they’re truly affirming? Imagine spending years — maybe even your whole life — with a lingering sense that you’re different from the people around you. You can sense that the way that you think, feel, and interact with others isn’t the norm, but you struggle to name exactly where these differences come from.