Will Gordon

Sometimes I think man why do I pay $3200 a month to live in a one bedroom by the dumb bar but then I go to the dumb bar and remember oh right, I love the dumb bar.

Professor Buffet only got divorced once?? Love is real and rest in parrots, good sir.

My cat loves watching tennis but pretends to be casual for dignity’s sake, which I respect because it’s my exact relationship to U2.

Had a great and disorienting few days in Asbury Park, as always, and came close to finalizing my unified theory of Why New Jersey Is Like That: what if an entire state was a 15-year-old boy who’s a fundamentally good kid but still requires constant supervision?

The watch repair guy mildly hosed me today and I was shocked, for whatever reason I assumed watch repair guys were like bike shop guys, always stoned or scattered and in their own way maybe, but death before dishonor. Not so!

Hey Erin, eat shit!

Boston Herald @bostonherald

City Councilor Erin Murphy has filed a hearing order to look into whether street cleaning equipment used in the area of Melnea Cass Boulevard and Massachusetts Avenue is spreading infectious diseases to other parts of Boston. https://t.co/8l76ptZ4v6

I'm afraid this is going to be misread as "$170K cash plus" when it's really I dunno $120K plus health, plus PTO, plus pension contrib, plus max total of all the specific little benefits lots of people don't use. A) I could be wrong and B) good deal either way, but still.

Conor Sen @conorsen

*UPS DRIVERS TO MAKE $170,000/YR WITH BENEFITS BY CONTRACT END

My best friend* and I have the same favorite food**, walking gait***, and bitchy cat tolerance****. * 11 month old niece Maggie **grapes, or anything else ***wobbly but doing our best ****infinite

This is surely in regards to some unhinged thing he said BUT he’s still underselling himself. No way 1 in 1000 of us slobs can beat Paul Pierce.

Paul Pierce @paulpierce34

I’m still better at hoop than 99.9 percent of people on twitter 😂😂😂😂

RT @CamronSanto: This how Scooby would carry away Scrappy Doo whenever he pick a fight he wasn't supposed to start https://t.co/l3mwJjD2Rb

Is something really wrong with Verdugo? Like it seems more serious than he’s just kind of a prick, because TONS of baseball players (and the rest of us) are, and Cora’s a rational man with his ass on the line, so to keep benching a decent player suggests something.

RT @jeffisrael25: Boston wanted to host the Olympics dude we cannot even host a slide

I haven’t lived in Boston for 20 years and my BPL e-card is one of my most prized possessions.

The teens I know are allowed to do so much more than I was. I think it’s fine and not really my place to opine, but I wonder if it’s a real trend or just my small world, or a make-up socialization/fun scramble by parents who justifiably feel bad about the time the kids lost.

My buddy just got approved for city housing and I’m thrilled for him, but when it costs $1250/month for a one-bedroom in the projects, maybe the system is broken.