Victoria Hulbert

Sep 27, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Rowdy Geirsson |Khadjiah Johnson |Victoria Hulbert |Destini Baylis Adams

First, throw your self-esteem out the window. Don’t half ass this step. It is crucial. Forget all the self-help books and mantras being talked about on the internet. All the healthy things your former therapist suggests: journaling, writing him a ‘letter’ (that is for old people!), or trying to get closure. Nope. Do. Not. Do. It. No matter what you do, he will be on your mind all the time. You’ll remember the way his eyes changed from brown to green.

Sep 13, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Rowdy Geirsson |Khadjiah Johnson |Victoria Hulbert |Stefanie Kirby

I don’t know what I did wrong but I think that my Icelandic milk-thieving monster might be malfunctioning. The instructions in the archaic Icelandic witchcraft manual explicitly stated to let it suckle on my thigh after conjuring it, but now I can’t get it detached. It just keeps on suckling and suckling and suckling and it won’t stop. The thigh suckling stage was supposed to be short.

Jul 26, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Khadjiah Johnson |Victoria Hulbert |Michael Montlack |Oskar David

And I swore I checked my surroundings before I let one rip in the Lexington Avenue train station. Prayers to the Black woman behind me that heard me use my farts as speed boosts to get me down its lengthy staircase. The echo of three of the loudest poots I ever pooted bounced off the tiles. A stench, pinballed her in the nose. Prayers for the vibrator in my bag fresh off the rack wondering“Damn, this the house we finna go to?

Jul 12, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Victoria Hulbert |Michael Montlack |Oskar David |Hugh Behm-Steinberg

A Thursday night in America. The year 2008. You sit on the couch in front of the television around 8:30 in the evening—thirty minutes after your favorite show has started because you are TiVoing it and want to fast-forward the commercials. You wear your comfy clothes, stretched out pajama pants and a large t-shirt, or maybe you went to the gym after work and, too tired to shower, you lounge in your sweaty spandex, or maybe it’s just boxer shorts.