Khadjiah Johnson

Brooklyn

Contributing Writer at Black Nerd Problems

Author at The Offing

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Articles

Wisconsin’ Recap, Episode 12: Goodbye Wisconsin

Jun 5, 2024 | vulture.com | Khadjiah Johnson

Top Chef Goodbye Wisconsin Season 21 Episode 12 Editor’s Rating 4 stars **** And there I was, double-wielding jerk wings in my fists, ready to engage in one of my favorite challenges of the series: the blindfolded taste test. Hoo boy! I love chaos! The blindfolded taste test where Top Chef competitors come together to do the most American thing of all time: say the wrong thing with the utmost confidence. I won’t lie. I walked into this episode with a bouquet of false hopes.
Bullet Journaling for Retired Detective Barry Borscht

Oct 11, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Destini Baylis Adams |Rowdy Geirsson |Khadjiah Johnson |Mike Itaya

Wednesday. 8:00 AM. Sticker of a Winking Dolphin:Retired detective Barry Borscht doesn’t know how to bullet journal. But he is six days into retirement and enjoys putting funny stickers on the pages. Borscht has time to kill. The Deputy Chief put him out to pasture after the botched murder inquiry into Rando McTavisham. Now Borscht is stuck in the “Rubber Room” (his living room) where ex-coppers go to die. Wednesday. 6:17 PM.
How To Have A “Proper” Heartbreak

Sep 27, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Rowdy Geirsson |Khadjiah Johnson |Victoria Hulbert |Destini Baylis Adams

First, throw your self-esteem out the window. Don’t half ass this step. It is crucial. Forget all the self-help books and mantras being talked about on the internet. All the healthy things your former therapist suggests: journaling, writing him a ‘letter’ (that is for old people!), or trying to get closure. Nope. Do. Not. Do. It. No matter what you do, he will be on your mind all the time. You’ll remember the way his eyes changed from brown to green.
I THINK THAT MY ICELANDIC MILK-THIEVING MONSTER MIGHT BE MALFUNCTIONING

Sep 13, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Rowdy Geirsson |Khadjiah Johnson |Victoria Hulbert |Stefanie Kirby

I don’t know what I did wrong but I think that my Icelandic milk-thieving monster might be malfunctioning. The instructions in the archaic Icelandic witchcraft manual explicitly stated to let it suckle on my thigh after conjuring it, but now I can’t get it detached. It just keeps on suckling and suckling and suckling and it won’t stop. The thigh suckling stage was supposed to be short.
A Food Nerd vs. The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers

Aug 20, 2023 | blacknerdproblems.com | Khadjiah Johnson

It’s December 2022. I want you to picture a Black woman swaddled in a thick blue blanket. One arm is out reaching for her plate towering with homemade hot wings and ranch. There’s a marathon of cooking competitions playing in the background, and about 15 tabs of job applications open on a laptop. It sounds chaotic but there I was, mango chipotle glory all over my fingers and fresh off the high of finishing a successful contract with a multi-Emmy award winning show.
The Emmy Goes to the Echoes in the 59th Street Train Station

Jul 26, 2023 | theoffingmag.com | Khadjiah Johnson |Victoria Hulbert |Michael Montlack |Oskar David

And I swore I checked my surroundings before I let one rip in the Lexington Avenue train station. Prayers to the Black woman behind me that heard me use my farts as speed boosts to get me down its lengthy staircase. The echo of three of the loudest poots I ever pooted bounced off the tiles. A stench, pinballed her in the nose. Prayers for the vibrator in my bag fresh off the rack wondering“Damn, this the house we finna go to?
'The Blackening': When Things Get Spooky, We Ride Together

Jul 13, 2023 | blacknerdproblems.com | Khadjiah Johnson

One of my favorite things to do is go to Black ass movies, with a Black ass audience in the theater. Everyone with separate lives and experiences that all relate to “Blackness” in its various forms. Growing up, I had an interesting relationship with Blackness. I experienced a huge amount of colorism growing up, and it became hard to appreciate my complexion until I reached college.
The Emmy Belongs to February by Khadjiah Johnson

Feb 21, 2023 | havehashad.com | Khadjiah Johnson

after Nkosi Nkululeko F E B R U A R Y7- I grieve for my teenage self who leaned on an elder’s son. On Sabbath, supple knuckles brush in anticipation for prayer; hands clasped with his fingers. Saturdays, are for God and coincidence. 9- An Adventist church makes itself a coincidence A place to discard a teenage crush and die to self. But two mistakes intertwine their fingers and bow to reflect on God sacrificing his son.
'Pressure Cooker:' A Look at Marginalization in the Industry

Jan 28, 2023 | blacknerdproblems.com | Khadjiah Johnson

The Journey to Bread and ButterWhen Netflix advertised Pressure Cooker to me, I thought they were just goading my reality cooking competition interests out. “Sure, I’ll give in to a little hot sauce on my Friday afternoon,” I ignorantly thought to myself. I assumed this will be a culinary competition like usual. I occasionally disagree with the judges, I hear a bit of drama from competitors, I get some inspiration for my own dishes, and call it a day.