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Not Even Dicky Lovelady Could Rescue The Mets

2 days ago | defector.com | Lauren Theisen

It's the hottest week of the year in New York City, but the Mets have been ice cold. Leaders of the NL East by five-and-a-half games less than two weeks ago, the boys from Queens now trail the Phillies by 1.5 because of a putrid ongoing stretch where they've lost 10 of 11. That slide includes Tuesday night's fall-from-ahead defeat at home, where even the much-anticipated team debut of 29-year-old reliever Richard "Dicky" Lovelady didn't provide the fans any pleasure.
Hurdler Wins 400-Meter Race Despite His Dick And Balls Falling Out Several Times

3 days ago | defector.com | Barry Petchesky

Eagle-eyed trackheads following the Ostrava Golden Spike in Czechia might have noticed American hurdler Chris Robinson, an NCAA champion at Alabama, winning the 400 meters with some unorthodox form. Midway through the event, Robinson began reaching, after every hurdle, to adjust himself in a way familiar to any penis-haver. Surely even a top track athlete would not be able to win a race, let alone in a season-best 48.05 seconds, with his dong flapping around.
Fuck Sore Losers

3 days ago | defector.com | Drew Magary

Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. And buy Drew’s book, The Night The Lights Went Out, while you’re at it. Today, we're talking about socks, mowing the lawn, filth, and more. My apologies for a shorter than usual bag today. I’m just coming off of a week of work in the field for SF Gate, and I’ve already started in on Why Your Team Sucks, the debut which is on the horizon. So I’ve been a touch squeezed.
Update: The Washington Post Is Still Dying

1 week ago | defector.com | Dave McKenna

Fifty years ago, the hot comedy skit was Saturday Night Live’s “Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!”, a play on the coverage of the Spanish dictator’s demise. That gag came to mind when I read yet another update on the terminally ill Washington Post, a newspaper that I delivered each morning back when the Franco punchline and the newspaper were among the biggest deals in town.
Take Me Out Of The Ballpark

1 week ago | defector.com | Maitreyi Anantharaman

The best pitchers in baseball were going to pitch on the same day! In the same place! Walking distance from my home! On a day I didn’t have to work! This dream confluence would give me a chance to watch reigning Cy Young winner Tarik Skubal, always a delight, and my first in-person look at Pirates ace Paul Skenes.
The Dodgers Can't Sit This Moment Out

1 week ago | defector.com | Barry Petchesky

It seemed like a small thing at the time. Before last Saturday's game between the Los Angeles Dodgers and San Francisco Giants at Dodger Stadium, the singer Nezza performed "The Star-Spangled Banner" in Spanish, even after being told not to by team representatives, in a symbolic protest against the jackbooted deportation raids being carried out around the country and in Los Angeles by faceless federal goons.
The Finals Have Given Us Everything But An Ending

1 week ago | defector.com | Ray Ratto

The Pacers and Thunder have constructed a series that has put the lie to the notion that there are insurmountable leads in basketball. The 20-point lead, once the gold standard, is now 30, and even then there's a little white-knuckling to be done. But like any absolute counterfactual, sometimes the percentages get in the way. In fact, in every case of a team getting a 30-point lead, it was once a 20-point lead. Sometimes an ass-kicking is just an ass-kicking.
A Fine Balance Between Evil And Stupid, With Kelsey McKinney And Megan Greenwell

1 week ago | defector.com | David Roth

We've all been there. Your buddy and former editor-in-chief Megan Greenwell has an acclaimed new book about the predatory industry that wrecked your previous workplace and is eating away at American life everywhere you look, and she's got an hour to spare on her book tour to talk to you on your podcast. So far, so relatable.
The WNBA Had Too Much Going On Last Night

1 week ago | defector.com | Maitreyi Anantharaman

“Wow,” Kahleah Copper tweeted yesterday evening. She was the rare WNBA player with the time to post and spectate on Wednesday. The final day of the group play stage of the league’s in-season Commissioner’s Cup tournament involved six games in one night, the first five overlapping. On account of the odd number of WNBA teams right now, Copper’s Phoenix Mercury were the lucky 13th team out. They could simply kick up their feet and take in one of the more colorful nights the league has seen.
The USMNT Is Going Nowhere

1 week ago | defector.com | Patrick Redford

The United States will host the men's World Cup in a little under one year. The vibe around the program could not possibly be worse, and enthusiasm levels could not possibly be lower. Some of this funk can be explained by the U.S. team getting embarrassed on the field. Until they hung five goals on poor Trinidad and Tobago over the weekend, the USMNT had lost four straight games by an aggregate score of 9-2.